Besides visiting the Takeoka family, I also had the opportunity to visit the other side, mainly Taro’s grandmother and grandfather (since we were already staying with Taro’s mom’s brother already). It was too difficult for them to travel to San Diego for the wedding as well so instead, the trip gave me the opportunity to meet his grandparents. Upon arriving at the house, I was greeted with warm wishes, a cup of green tea, and rice crackers. And then, all of a sudden, Taro’s grandfather pulled out all these goodies! He bought two bags and a statue of a Buddha (one for me and one for my grandmother) for me! I felt so overwhelmed by the kind gesture and I was constantly saying thank you in Japanese. After the gift giving, Taro’s grandmother pulled out photo albums for me to look at and it was so interesting looking at childhood pictures of Taro with his parents. In addition, I felt like I was getting to know Taro’s mom a bit more through the interaction with her parents and through the photo albums. We spent a nice amount of time looking at the photos and for Taro, he was able to converse with his grandmother and grandfather who he had not seen for over five years.
As we were getting ready to leave in order to visit the family gravesite (Taro went to the restroom while this happened.), Taro’s grandfather came in with keychain trinkets in his hand. He gave them to me and sadly, I had no idea what he said in Japanese, but it was just so sweet. Here is the image I have of Taro’s grandfather. If you have seen the movie Up, he is similar to the grandfather-like character in the movie minus the grumpiness. The character loved working in the zoo and was in charge of the balloon stand. I remember the scene where he all of a sudden decides to fly his house away and the balloons just emerge and there is this giddiness to his overall character. That is Taro’s grandfather. He just shuffled in with trinkets – Did he pull them out of his pocket? – and just handed them over. I wanted to hug him because he is just this adorable, bear-like grandfather. Silly as it might sound, I absolutely adored him on the spot.
After receiving more gifts – I truly felt like an excited kid with all my goodies – we headed off to pay respect to the family. This gravesite was different from the Takeoka family one; it had a much larger temple and an amazing statue of the Buddha. It was enormous compared to the ones I saw in Tokyo! Because of that, it provided even more beauty and a sense of peace and tranquility.
We finished the afternoon with lunch and we were finally able to eat sushi, which I was craving since our arrival in Japan! Food is just so reasonable in Japan that you can get uni without even thinking twice. I was completely stuffed from lunch – miso with clams, tonkatsu, broiled squid, fried squid, and sushi. But then, guess what Taro’s grandfather did? He went up to the register and bought bags of hot chestnuts for everyone! He just never stopped with his generosity and I was just amazed.
I was sad to say goodbye to Taro’s grandparents. I felt so welcomed and loved that waving bye to them and saying, “Ja-ne!” was bittersweet. I want to visit them again – soon.
Taro took this amazing shot of a bird. They were all over in Japan, not like the annoying pigeons we have at home. I love the movement he captured and the clarity of the bird’s face.
My extended Japanese family, who I feel so fortunate to be a part of:
On the right, it is me being the goofball that I am.
And of course, my favorite type of food:
Update: Taro’s mom went to Japan right after we got back and I sent cookies (chocolate chip and cornflake cookies) with her to give to her brother and parents. When she came back, she had a bag full of goodies from her father! He bought me a dancing cat (which Peanut is deathly afraid of), pajamas, a bag, and pictures from the day we spent together. Isn’t he just the sweetest man?
Since our wedding was in San Diego, it was difficult for Taro’s relatives to make it to the wedding and instead, they sent well wishes via telephone and mail. Fortunately, we had our trip and it allowed for me to meet the Takeoka side. I have to say, there is a strong male gene on the Takeoka side! Immediately I could see the resemblence with Taro’s father and uncle. His male cousins also had the familiar features I see in Mr. Takeoka’s face and it really reminded me of how on my dad’s side, all the men look so much alike. They were all so welcoming and it was nice to be able to converse with them. We enjoyed a nice lunch together and afterward, we visited the Takeoka family grave. This might sound strange, but there is this hauntingly beautiful aspect of cemetaries in other countries. (I felt the same way when I visited a family one in Hong Kong.) They are alongside a temple (which is beautiful in itself) and the headstones rise up high with elegant calligraphy and incense, but these cemetaries are tucked in with the hustle of city and street life. There is such a juxtaposition of noise and peace and tranquility that it makes for an interesting setting. After paying respect to the Takeoka family, we parted ways; however short our meeting, it was great to meet relatives from Japan. It made me realize that I am now a part of a Japanese family (even though I knew there must have been some Japanese in me already).
Afterward, we headed over to Pub Rogue in Kichijoji, a bar that Taro’s parents’ friends, Shigeki and Takako, opened up. There we met with family friends, but also some of Taro’s friends. Yuko happened to be in Japan at the exact same time so we were able to catch up and hear about her trip home. Akane is currently living in Japan and we have not seen her since the wedding. I was a bit bummed that her son couldn’t come because he is just adorable! He was a dancing machine at our wedding and Akane told us that he really wanted to see us and dance. Isn’t that just too cute? Finally, I met Tomoya and Tomoko, a family friend and his wife. So meeting at Pub Rogue was pretty much a reunion and it was again, nice meeting and seeing friends. It was a great location to do it at not just because it was a family friends’ bar, but because the food was stellar. I was amazed that Takako made all of it herself! It wasn’t just the typical bar food; yes, there was chili, but there was an extra touch of flavoring without all the grease and regrets later on from your stomach. There was pasta, salad, shepherd’s pie, and these delicious pieces of bread topped with fig and cheese. I really appreciated the thought put into the food and on top of that, I loved the decor of the place. Shigeki and Takako are antique sellers and Pub Rogue was filled with those details. Mixed in with bottles of beer you could find a vintage typewriter or a record displayed in a case. There was a lot of charm in the place and I was very impressed that Shigeki actually designed and carved out the wood tables and benches in the bar. This is not a typical bar and I wish there was one close to our house that served the type of food available at Pub Rogue with that homely atmosphere and charm.
Japan was a mix of sightseeing and meeting extended family members and friends. It is nice to know that miles and miles away, there are people you can call family.
I feel like every single day is a learning experience and when I go to work, it is not always a learning experience about teaching, but a learning experience on life. Just from lunch conversations, I have a better understanding of so much more – what it takes to participate in a triathlon, the activities of a boy scout troupe, the transition of going from eating meat to a vegetarian lifestyle, how to cope with loss and death, and just the bond of human beings and the human spirit. Something that I have learned a great deal about recently is fostering. I believe it takes courage and strength to do this – to sometimes fill a void, be a mentor and parent – and I truly admire Liese for taking on this endeavor whole-heartedly and with so much passion.
When she told me the news that she was meeting a young boy, I wanted to shriek with happiness. It was months, but she never gave up hope and I always had my fingers crossed. The weekend passed and on that Monday, I asked questions and Liese had a glow – the little man was going to be with her starting on Wednesday and we were going to get the opportunity to meet him the following week.
I cannot even describe the anticipation I had in meeting Zach. This was the person who put that smile on her face. This was the person who she described as her little athlete, a future star in the making. This was the person who caused change. So when I met Zach, he was a bit shy, sheltering next to Liese. I handed him a bag of goodies and he opened up with the sight of a toy helicopter. And as we shared breakfast together, along with the rest of the English Department, she watched over him, showing that mommy side of her that we were waiting for.
I know that one day Zach is going to look back at this moment and realize how much he was loved. I don’t think that Liese is the only lucky one; he is, too, for having someone with so much unconditional love. I cannot wait to hear more stories – especially since I loved hearing how he calls grandma everyday – and watch him grow into a future soccer player, football star, or whatever path he chooses to follow.
I am happy for the start of your new family, Liese; the adventure has just begun!
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